I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
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