The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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