i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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