if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
her vagine was all disorganized.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
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