If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
