I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
