Why are handjobs necessary in class?
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Randomize
