it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
