And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize