Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
God I need to hump something, right now.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Randomize
