it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
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