why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
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