Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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