2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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