i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
