But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Randomize
