She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
We are two peas in an std pod
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Randomize
