Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
