You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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