I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize