My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize
