Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
soo... how was my night?
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