I think I just saw someone hide a body.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
i dont even know how to be here
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
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