Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
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The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
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At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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