watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize