Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
we made out on top of his cat.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
