Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
