careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
where are my pants?
in the oven.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
