fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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