ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
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