We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Can I color on your dick again?
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Randomize
