New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Randomize
