So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
My Higher Power is John Stamos
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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