This girl is more easily done than said...
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
