brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
i now understand why vodka
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
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