I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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