Whod you bang
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
