mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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