Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
