dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
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what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
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