In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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