I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
