I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Randomize
