I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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