I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize