do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
