i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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