her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
you mean i was at the winter classic?
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize