yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?