Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
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Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
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i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers