just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
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...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
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I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?