Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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