My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
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