I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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