She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
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