I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
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