32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
I think I am morally bankrupt
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Randomize
