people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Randomize
