She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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