sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
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He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
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All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
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