I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
