Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
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