I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
