remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
My penis needs a shock collar
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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