She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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