GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
